what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
