we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
