if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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