dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
