I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
high people should be assigned attendants
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
