last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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