so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
