she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
