like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
