Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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