he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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