you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
