I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
