Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.

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(443): View more from Maryland

at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".

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(419): View more from Ohio

I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.

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(407): View more from Florida

Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?

(512): View more from Texas

Sounds like a legit day to me.

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