she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
