I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize