dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
