I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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