Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
