garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Still dying that you shit outside
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
