Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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