I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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