I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
