I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This is classic penis vs brain.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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