I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
