I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize