HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
