What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
