I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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