She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
