I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
