STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
