So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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