Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You're my little dorito
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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