so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
