We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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