ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
this beer tastes like vomit already
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
