I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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