It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
