I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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