i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
