Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
