Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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