There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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