Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
