Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
