I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
