jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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