Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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