Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
