I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize