I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
