so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
