I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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