dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
