i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
