brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize