we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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