My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You pole danced in your parka.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
