I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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