There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
