Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
