we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
