My hand turned me down
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need to align my fucking chakras
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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