soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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