Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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