Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize