It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
operation have a gay friend backfired
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you will always have a special place in my vag
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
