Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
